I can’t blame him for anything and I always adore him and wish him happiness. If only he could see how much I love him and if only he could depress his ego, then we’ll be okay…
I lost his figure long time ago and I’m longing for his love since forever. I know that I haven’t been acting as a perfect daughter in his eyes but could he accept me as I am like I accepted him?
It’s funny how I feel broken inside but still I love him as always. Funny how I keep trying to avoid him but I miss him every single day.
Funny how uncomfortable I am around him but I miss him to hold me whenever I feel down. Funny how I keep trying to not make the same mistake like he did but I became like him. Funny how strong I can be facing all my problems but I simply fall apart when I hear that he’s mad at me over a small thing even sometimes for something I didn’t do.
I miss you, Pap and I know probably our relation won’t ever be as I wanted. But I just want you to know that no matter what I love you and I forgive you. And I could only wish that Allah always be at your side, watch your back and keep you safe…. I can’t ever say this face to face to you because I don’t think you want me.
You know something, Pap… I still remember vaguely about my childhood, the sweetest thing that you’ve done for me every time I got sick. You came to my room, you rubbed my back with Vick’s and tucked me into bed. Do you still remember when I was in elementary school? Every time it’s got rained, you didn’t let me and my brothers to go to school, simply because you didn’t want us to get sick and I think everyday me and my brothers wished for a rainy days.
You are the best man I ever known, you taught me many things in life. Since I was a kid, you always told me that never expect anything from other even from you, I have to struggle for myself and if I want to be succeed, I have to stand on my own feet not through you. And look at me now, Pap.. I know I haven’t reach my success stage in life but I am struggling for my life, everyday.. I am standing on my own feet even though it’s not an easy tasks but I face it!
Sometimes I envy to know how perfect your relationship with my sister, the way you held her, you were very passionate and affectionate to each other, the way you show your love to her, because I never had that with you. But it’s okay, I guess you and I have our own way to let each other knows how we feel inside.
The greatest gift I ever had
Came from Allah I call him Papa!
Posted on MP: 22 Jul 2010